Table Leaders
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Additional Information
The goal of the retreat weekend is to provide invitees an invitation to experience and renew their personal relationship with our awesome and loving God. They need to know that they may feel weird, out of their element or totally at home. They need to be able to tell their own story in a safe, confidential and supportive environment. They need to know they will be listened to and respected. They need to know their sharing and emotions will be treated with caring and love.
The table leader will model that openness, caring and listening. They need to have authority within the group to be able to respond to any conflicts or problems. These problems in the group may include advice giving, (this is the way to do it, the only way), intellectualizing (rather than sharing what it feels like), blaming others, challenging instead of supporting, pushing religious beliefs onto others or making them feel less religious for feeling a certain way, dominating members, rambling on, the use of “we” instead of “I”, and the group becoming a purely social entity.
Ask yourself, as the facilitator, “whose group is this?” Yes, you must be prepared, but also able to go where the group needs to go that moment.
Be a “convener” (start the discussion) and moderator (stay on task, be sure everyone has a chance and feels welcome to speak.)
Sit with the group,
Use eye contact and be attentive, but use neutral body language.
Paraphrase back to the group what they’ve said, don’t offer your own ideas.
Ensure that everyone is heard and has an opportunity to speak.
Allow for periods of silence.
Sample transitional statements to use in table discussions
Some transitional statements:
How would you answer the question just asked?
Who would like to add to the ideas that we just heard?
Some of us are actively engaged in the discussion and others are not.
What do we need to do to ensure that everyone has an opportunity to offer their thoughts?
What experience have you had with this topic?
I appreciate your sharing. Who else would like to comment?
Tell us more about that feeling or thought.
You appear to have a question or comment.
So far we’ve talked about … (summarize or paraphrase.)
Prior to weekend, review themes and Scripture verses and think about them.
Table Leader Tips
At the beginning of the retreat weekend, share these guidelines with the invitees at your table. Remind them when discussing witness themes to focus on the theme, not the witness. It is helpful to stay focused on how God worked in that person’s life.
Explain the binder/folder that they have been given. Go through the content so they know where to find things.
Explain the process of the witness talk – how during the prayer over the witness prior to talk, extend hand if you wish, bible passages in the book on each witness’ sheet and song. Also let them know that they are welcomed to affirm afterward if they wish. Explain that discussion will follow with shared prayer and then an activity.
Encourage retreatants to share if they would like to; if they don’t want to, that’s okay.
Check in with quiet people to make sure they are doing okay.
Explain to your group that during shared prayers, to squeeze the next persons hand when they are finished talking or if they choose not to talk.
Preface each witness with what the theme is about. Have retreatants think about theme while witness is presenting.
Let them know that long pauses or silence is okay.
Gently remind retreatants that everything is on a tight schedule and to use breaks to take care of business. Ask them not to leave the witness room during witness talks.
Witness songs are in the book. Please listen to the song.
Stay on topic during affirmations.
If you see one of your attendees at your table having a difficult time find the right time to go up and check in and make sure everything is okay.